Well, kid, nothing turned out the way you thought it would. You didn’t become a super NDN or start a revolution. You are still mostly the same Heinz 57 oddball who moved home and wanted to learn our language. You did that. Not as fluent as you wanted, but you did it. It took way longer than it should have. There’s just no way to recount all the mistakes you made. Or all the obstacles you encountered. There were lots of unintended consequences along the way. Some good and some bad. Language broke some relationships, but it gave you others. That keeps happening and you’ve gotten used to it. It still hurts though.

You experience a lot of struggles working in the field. I use the word “field”, not like a field of scholarship, but like a worker in a field toiling away in the hot sun. A bent back and bloody hands. 30 years labor and you’re still just paying the bills. Or sometimes it’s a field of battle and it seems like there’s just a handful of people who want to stand against the forces that seek to turn the whole world into a data stream. Some days you feel hopeless. Some days you are bone tired. Still, you’ve finally learned to pace yourself. That also took way longer than it should have.

There are still times when you wake up and wish you had been interested in something easier like becoming an astronaut or a marine biologist. Something with training, resources, and support. You know job security and all that. The light-skinned, green-eyed cowardly version of you still pushes for a more comfortable life. He reminds you that you have the privilege to just fade into the crowd. Put on the blinders and do something easier. “Unchoose this life,” he says, “let’s do something else.”

You’re not a very good model of the ideal language revitalization activist. You’re not brown enough. You’re not traditional enough. You’re too loud and too direct. Sometimes, people look at you and they get pissed off. You are like a window into a future they don’t want.

Well, I started this speech with the idea to say something encouraging. So far, it’s not going very well. I thought maybe I’d tell you what to do differently. Give you some tips to make it easier. Strategies so you don’t waste so much effort. I keep thinking of things, but they only make sense if you’ve lived through it. So, I guess I’ll say this:

You weren’t wrong. What you want to do, do it. Don’t fade. Don’t give up. Don’t make excuses. Keep going. Keep trying. Keep doing.

Except be more compassionate with yourself. Don’t put the whole world on your back and try to carry it. Find people to help you and depend on them. Give yourself space to rest, reflect, and recover.

That’s really the only encouragement you need.

Well, kid, I feel like maybe you aren’t going to listen to me. That you are just going to jump off the cliff without a parachute. Then 25 years later you will hit the ground and I’ll have to deal with the consequences. Then I’ll have to spend the next 5 years trying to figure out what to do about it.

You’re going to cause me a lot of pain. You overconfident little shit ass.

Well, I don’t think this speech turned out very good. I had this whole part about a mountain that I forgot. I think my PTGSS (Post Tribal Government Stress Syndrome) kicked in and I confused myself. Then I got mad at you about being a shit ass. Sorry about that.

I love you and I just want good things for you. Let me know how the whole jumping off the cliff thing works out. Ok, I’ll see you later. I’m going to go take a nap. I’m exhausted. Plus, my sciatica is acting up and I’ve got another migraine.

Oops. Kinda got off track again. Anyway, Happy Anniversary! 30 years in the field of Indigenous Language Revitalization. Kâ, that’s a long time! Congratulations!